Getting burnt on the bike world

There comes a point with anything where you reach a plateau of sorts in your work.  You learn, experiment, help others, and in more ways than not give much of what you have to your craft.  You get real world experience, discover truths and disinformation through trial and error as well as having a plethora of humbling experiences along the way.  Sometimes there comes a point where you hit a wall of sorts with it all.  You find that you are lacking motivation to move forward with things for various reasons and begin questioning your place in it all.  I believe that for my own reasons I have as they say in the cycling world, met the man with the hammer.

Fitting in

Iv always struggled to find any sort of identity in the bicycle industry/culture.  Subscribing to ideals that undermine the shop/industry status quo, never fitting the bill of either a road or mountain cyclist, lacking the finances and desire for high end bikes and all the kit to go along with it has put me in a somewhat queer box of sorts.  In March of 2016 I wrote a blog post called  "Not a roadie, not a mountain biker, just a cyclist" in which I spelled out the various conflicting states of trying to fit into a particular genre or sub-genre of cyclist.  As it was for me two and a half years ago it still stands; the less I make attempts to conform to the varying, heavily marketed, often alienating and divisive cycling images that dominate the pages of magazines, the advert side bars of blogs and and the subtle product placement in various forms of media, the less I worry about who wants to ride with me, how I am perceived by them and and weather or not I will fit into the aforementioned boxes.

Now, far more than ever I am less and less interested in paying attention to market trends, being immersed in the growth-at-all-costs cycling industry, painting myself as a "serious" cyclists and being victim to the "more upgrades" mentality that dictates the discussions, lifestyles and attitudes of all too many cyclists.  It is for these same reasons that I tend to ride with other like minded people who are capable of breaking away from these confining molds while enjoying the lovely freedom that a bicycle ride, stripped away of all the racy/tech forward jargon and thinking patterns, can truly offer.

Myself explaining how sketchy but fun our ride was as I underbiked on my old mtb:  Photo - Cass Gilbert

The past and the present

 My work with bicycles has come and gone in a variety of ways.  I started getting into bike stuff by building myself single speed and fixed gear bikes, then for friends and neighbors, creating and maintained a bike related blog (still but less often), working a small side repair gig of my own, eventually becoming a mechanic by trade (now with a different shop) and being hired by the city as a bike mechanic/teacher/builder/dissembler/many-things-er (still).  I had and still have many friends and acquaintances in the bike world here in New Mexico with the long story short being that the connections still permeate much of what my day to day life looks like.

With all this having been said, its not the activity of cycling as much as bicycle culture, industry and waste that I am burnt on.  Maintaining a place in these worlds has become increasingly uncomfortable and difficult for me.  Investing energy and time in it all has substantially worn thin as I am less and less interested with many things bike related.  Though I still love to ride, build/repair,  write/read and teach/learn about all-things-bike related; I struggle to find the drive to become more embedded in these often niche and affluent-forward cycling cliques/communities and businesses/institutions.  Though my place in it all may be on the fringes of hip/cool/in, I know I am having fun, helping others, upcycling bikes and making meaningful connections all the while.  The blog has been a huge outlet for me to express and contemplate ideas while forging a deeper sense of identityless identity in this ever changing bike world.

 This is another good opportunity to thank those who have been friendly and supportive of me in my goofy and often off kilter ways of thinking and doing things.  I appreciate so much the friends I have made who embrace me as I come and are comfortable with my lack of fitting the mold.  Thank you all!